edited example

http://www.rte.ie/news/2006/1009/dowlingr.html

1. The lead is ok, but I think it could be improved. The writer could add more detail to the story in the lead. He could say what the relationship between the man and the woman was, how they met or encountered each other the last time. It could draw the reader in witha little more information.
2. I like the second paragraphy where the wrtier explains that the man admitted to killing the woman, but claims he was provoked. It kind of shows a second side to the story and gives somewhat of a defense the the man who is being charged. The writer also included the charges brought against him and his pleas. I think without saying that the man said he was provoked there would be some question as to why he plead guilty to one charger, but not guilty to the other.
3. The writer gave very good and concise details. they explain the exact time and a clear description of the location which the crime was committed. The author leads little left for the reader to figure out with his description.
4. The writer said a witness claimed they had both been drinking. I dont know if it was possible for the writer to get a quote, but I think the story could be added to witha quote from the witness or an excerpt from their statement. It is hard to say without reading the police report, paraphrasing may have been the best option, but I think there could be a little added to the story with a quote from the witness, and if not the witness an officer who is working the case.
5. Finally, you get two good descriptions near the end of the story. the writer gives the reader a clear picture of the demographics of the jury, which is not essential, but still interesting. There are eight men and four women on the jury. Another example was the writer's ability to show the brutality of the murder. They said the woman was hit in the head 14 times with a lump hammer. The reader sees this wasnt just a heat of the moment shot from a gun, but a legitimate effort to end this woman's life with ample time to stop and rethink it. Although it may make the suspected killer look like an animal by stating he hit the woman over the head 14 times, it is an essential part of the crime and the story.