I looked at Ann's obit. Overall, I liked the content and the fact that the story demostrated, in many ways, the degree to which her grandfather was a talented builder. I felt that the Christmas stories were her strongest elements of the story.
The length was good.
As far as problems went, I pointed out some instances where she needed to fix punctuation. Non-essential clause punctuation had to be edited in a few sections. Also, in the paragraph about Roger's injury, I helped Ann tighten her words and break up a few sentences.
I couldn't really find any glaring AP errors.
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