Interview

Mike Sohasky
Miles Maguire


Setting forth on foot searching for a candidate to interview in attempt to find some real “beef” on real people I found myself bored while walking through Reeve Union.

My highly anticipated interview may be nothing more than interviewing a tanned-up, muscle-bound frat boy on his environmental standpoint. I am sure he would have had something good to say.

As soon as I gave in and lost all hope I found my muse. Sitting cross-legged and looking very astute at small round table I saw Tony Palmeri.

Palmeri associate professor at the University of Oshkosh, local media critic and once candidate for 54th Assembly District Seat for the Green Party was scoping out the crowd of students lined up to get haircuts by struggling young beauticians.

I didn’t approach Palmeri directly. I wandered around circling the area trying to gather n my head some sort of question to ask a man who has wrote and published more articles on environmental politics and our governor who is known as “Toxic Jim” than I have collected baseball cards in the years 1987-1992.

What was I going to say to Palmeri, a sometimes out-spoken political activist who would eat whatever I said for breakfast?

I hit him the question, “what was the funniest thing that had ever happened to you?”

Palmeri sat there thinking and trying to come up with a good story that would blow my socks off. Well at least that is what I thought. I thought he would tell me about a story how he and Ralph Nader shared joint and went Allman Brothers reunion only to run into two conservatives, who they later got in a bar fight with.

However, nothing like that would come out of Palmeri’s mouth. He told me some story about how on his wedding day he and the rest of his family were supposed to go to his house to take pictures with his dog name “Pugsly”. He continued this boring story, while I gave a couple of fake laughs and asked a few dumb questions, just enough for him to finish this horrid story.

He ended his story by telling me his parents had dead-bolted his house and the dog was locked inside and the whole wedding party was locked out of the house. “The dog was going crazy,” Palmeri said with a laugh. I was laughing too. Not for the same reason.

I had my story and a bright idea hit me. I was going to interview someone else. I needed some contrast from this horrifically sad interview. So, I interviewed a student who was working in the visitor center of the union.
The girl who goes by the name Kim Zellermeyer accepted to speak with me and answer my question, “What was the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?”

She told me a hilarious story about when she was camping in the Superior National Forest and had to take a leak, but was too tired and lazy to leave her tent. I had no idea where this was going. Finally, she left the tent and wandered out in the wilderness to due her duty. However, she heard someone following her and yelled for them to stay away. But the noise kept following her. She was angry that someone would be so rude to not let her urinate in peace.

Zellermeyer angry grew because she had he pants down to her ankles and didn’t appreciate the company. She heard the sound right behind her and turned around only to see a moose towering over her.

She freaked out and ran off into the trees with her pants down to her ankles screaming for help. She ran for 20 minutes until she was positive the moose was not behind her.

Good thing for Zellemeyer she got away, late August is the prime time for mating season for male bulls.

Now there is a difference in stories. Exactly what I wanted. This lead me to the conclusion that even the most hard core liberals can’t compete with the youth of America. Palmeri has something to learn about telling stories. He better be equipped next time he is asked that question otherwise he will lose his sense of credibility in the eyes of the young men and women who look to him for Green Party representation.

Long live the wild stories our Americas’ teens.